We have around 200 TV Channels, but 99% of the time we watch MTV or a German music channel called Deluxe Music. Its works mostly just as background noise, we are not sitting on the couch actively watching the videos. But if you do this long enough, you start to recognize and know the new chart songs, and this is what I want to write about today.

As an avid music lover, I have a really big music database in my head, who sampled whom, trivia, lyrics, fun facts and generally just a LOT of songs, be it Pink Floyd, Dido or 50 Cent. But just like ChatGPT, I also have a cutoff date. Lets place it around 2009. Since then I am totally isolated from new music, and I began actively exploring older and alternative music. Back in the day, I was frequenting a pirate website called Q.E.M.F., quality electronic music forum. I downloaded everything I could find there, and still have most of the stuff on my hard drive. The files jumped from one hard drive to another at least six times since then, and sit safely on my NAS now.

But back to the topic. I am back to listening pop music after a 15 years hiatus, and my God it sucks. And no, it is not that I am a bitter old fart, there are some nice new songs right now, like Lose Control from Teddy Swims and… er.. yea, I cant remember any one other one.

But lets take Taylor Swift for an example. This routine of ours watching MTV and Deluxe Music just started recently, like 7-8 months ago. But the first time I actually saw and heard a Taylor Swift song on MTV was maybe a month ago. I can’t remember the name of the song, but the video is in black and white. The music is probably very bland, because I cant remember anything of it. The thing is, I don’t know ANY song from Taylor Swift. My girlfriend is trying to convince me that I know “Shake it Off”, and it does kinda ring a bell, but I would never connect the song to Taylor. So how the hell is she so popular? Why is she everywhere? How can someone be so popular as a singer and at the same time so underrepresented on MTV and radio? I am convinced that she is some sort of a social experiment, a psyop if you like it.

Moving on to David Guetta. I also have my own personal conspiracy theory about him. This guy pumps out a new track every month or so, and it is always a blatantly covered pop song slapped with some shitty vocals, with deep tonight-is-going-to-be-a-good-night lyrics. The songs are so bad that I honestly wonder who David Guetta really is and what power over the industry he has. There is no way that he is producing any of this songs himself, but ghostwriting is nothing new. My personal tinfoil hat theory is that David Guetta is actually the one controlling the music industry. It doesn’t matter how good or bad the song is, if it is produced by David Guetta, it is an instant hit.

But David Guetta is not the only one recycling old songs. Every other song I hear nowadays is a chewed up and spat out old pop song.

Ofenbach – Overdrive (Kim Wilde – Cambodia)

Dasha – Austin (Daddy DJ – Daddy DJ)

Kygo, Ava Max – Whatever (Shakira – Whenever, Wherever)

CYRIL – Stumblin’ In (Suzi Quatro, Chris Norman – Stumblin’ In)

Dimitri Vegas & Tiesto – Thank You (Dido – Thank You)

And that’s just off the top of my head.

Then there is also the case of artists which are alumni from various music schools, like for an example the German Pop Akademie in Mannheim. A better name for this kind of institutions would be a factory, and not a school. They don’t educate artists, they produce artists. The songs are typical run of the mill pop songs, which are then spammed on radio and TV non stop 24/7. The radio and TV stations must have some kind of a contract with these institutions, so its a win win for everyone. Sure, the guys and gals that graduate from there know how to sing, and they do sing good, but somehow the music they produce falls flat.

Speaking of the German pop scene, there is also plenty of German male hipster singer/songwriters who make incredibly boring music. These are the type of guys that will bring their guitar on the train an say something like: “ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention for a minute please. I want to present you my new song, “beaches of Sylt”, I hope you will like it.” This is probably the same obnoxious guy that plays Wonderwall at the house party. I honestly don’t know who listens to this kind of garbage. Who comes home from work or school and puts Mark Forster or Max Giesinger on? I also noticed that they somehow all look the same, dark brown/blond hair, 5 day beard and the optional glasses. The younger ones also have those shitty tattoos all over their arms.

The evolution of western pop music completely grinded to a halt somewhere in the 2000s, which is why we don’t have any distinctive styles which we could associate with the decades. We are stuck in a perpetual cycle of “today’s” music with no end in sight.

I firmly believe that modern pop music has a shelflife of maximum one year, after that it will disappear, never to be heard again. There is no way that in the year 2040 someone will turn the radio on (or whatever we will have then) and hear a song from today’s charts. Its not going to happen. The radio stations will still play Genesis, Police, Billy Idol, Sade, Journey, but I’m not so sure about Tate McRae’s latest hit.